How Counseling Can Help Compulsive Lying

Most people tell occasional lies, whether to avoid embarrassment, protect someone’s feelings, or sidestep a difficult conversation. But for some people, dishonesty can become a recurring problem that feels difficult to control.

Compulsive lying can affect relationships, work, and emotional well-being. It may also leave some people feeling confused about why they continue to lie even when doing so causes difficulties. Counseling can help by identifying the factors that contribute to the behavior and developing healthier ways of coping and communicating.

In this article, we’ll explain what compulsive lying is, explore potential causes, and discuss how counseling may help.

Generally, compulsive lying is described as a persistent pattern of dishonesty that may be hard to stop and can interfere with relationships, work, and other aspects of daily life. To partners, family members, and friends, this behavior often looks like constant lying and making up stories, even routine, low-stakes matters where the truth would carry no negative consequences.

Although the phrase “compulsive lying disorder” is sometimes used to describe repeated patterns of dishonesty, compulsive lying is not currently considered a standalone mental health diagnosis. Neither compulsive lying nor pathological lying is currently recognized as a distinct diagnosis in the DSM-5-TR. Instead, compulsive lying is generally viewed as a behavioral issue that may occur alongside other psychological or emotional conditions.

Compulsive lying differs from the occasional dishonesty most people engage in from time to time.  The behavior is often more frequent, may continue despite negative consequences, and can create significant distress or problems in personal and professional relationships.

People might wonder about the difference between a compulsive liar and a pathological liar. The terms “compulsive lying” and “pathological lying” often overlap. Researchers commonly describe pathological lying as persistent and compulsive, while popular sources frequently use the terms interchangeably.

Although researchers have proposed various definitions of pathological lying, there is no universally accepted definition or set of diagnostic criteria. Pathological lying is sometimes referred to as “pseudologia fantastica,” a term historically used to describe repeated and often elaborate patterns of dishonesty.

Some clinicians and researchers have attempted to distinguish the two concepts, describing compulsive lying as more habitual or automatic and pathological lying as more elaborate and psychologically motivated.

Because definitions vary, many experts focus less on the label and more on the impact the behavior has on a person’s life and relationships.

Because compulsive lying can affect relationships, work, and emotional well-being, counseling often focuses on helping individuals to better understand the behavior and develop healthier ways of interacting and navigating difficult situations.

While treatment varies based on an individual’s needs and circumstances, counseling may help in several ways.

One of the first goals of counseling may be understanding what purpose the lies serve. For some people, dishonesty may help avoid conflict, protect self-esteem, gain approval, or cope with uncomfortable emotions. Others may use lying to conceal another concern, such as addiction, anxiety, or relationship difficulties.

By exploring the situations, thoughts, and emotions that tend to precede dishonest behavior, therapists can help clients identify patterns that may otherwise go unnoticed. Understanding these dynamics can provide insight into the factors contributing to compulsive lying and inform treatment goals.

Mental health professionals may assess whether compulsive lying is occurring alongside other concerns, such as anxiety, trauma, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and addiction.

Compulsive or pathological lying has been associated with a range of mental health conditions, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and certain personality disorders characterized by difficulties with self-image, emotional regulation, or interpersonal relationships. Identifying and addressing any co-occurring conditions is an important part of treatment.

Counselors may help individuals identify situations, thoughts, emotions, or relationship dynamics that tend to precede lying. For example, a person might notice they tend to lie when they are anxious about meeting new people or worried about missing a deadline at work.

Recognizing these tendencies can provide insight into why lying occurs and help inform behavior change. Once triggers are identified, a therapist may help the individual develop alternative responses, such as preparing for difficult conversations, practicing emotional regulation skills, or communicating more directly about mistakes and concerns.

Counseling may provide a supportive environment to practice more direct and honest communication. Rather than relying on deception to manage difficult situations or emotions, individuals can learn to express their thoughts, needs, and concerns more openly. Some therapeutic approaches may use techniques such as role-playing or behavioral rehearsal to help clients practice alternative responses to situations that typically prompt dishonesty.

Over time, practicing new communication skills in therapy and everyday interactions may help strengthen relationships and build confidence in authentic communication.

Compulsive lying can strain relationships with partners, family members, friends, and colleagues. Research suggests that deception may reduce trust and social connection, and repeated dishonesty may make it difficult for others to trust what a person says, even when they are being truthful.

Counseling may help individuals better understand how their behavior affects others and develop strategies for rebuilding trust and changing behavior. This process may involve taking responsibility for past actions, communicating more openly, and demonstrating consistent behavior over time. While rebuilding trust can take time, counseling can provide support as individuals work to strengthen important relationships.

Many people who lie compulsively may develop the behavior as a way of coping with difficult emotions, low self-esteem, anxiety, trauma, or other emotional or psychological challenges. Treatment often focuses on helping individuals identify these patterns and develop healthier ways of responding to stress and emotional discomfort.

Depending on a person’s needs, therapists may draw from a variety of approaches to self-awareness and change. Different behavioral therapy types, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), may help individuals identify thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to dishonesty, while acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) focuses on acting in ways that align with personal values. Other approaches, such as motivational interviewing, psychodynamic therapy, and attachment-focused therapy may help individuals explore past experiences, unconscious motivations, relationship patterns, and barriers to change.

Over time, developing healthier coping strategies may reduce the need to rely on dishonesty to manage difficult situations or emotions.

There is no single explanation for compulsive lying. Ongoing dishonesty may serve different purposes for different people, ranging from avoiding consequences and managing anxiety to protecting self-esteem. Understanding the factors that may play a role in compulsive lying can be an important first step toward change.

Anxiety, shame, and low self-esteem can contribute to compulsive lying. Some people may lie to avoid embarrassment, hide mistakes, or prevent others from viewing them negatively.

Individuals who experience strong anxiety responses may lie to avoid situations they perceive as threatening, uncomfortable, or emotionally risky. Those who struggle with maladaptive perfectionism may feel pressure to appear successful, competent, or in control at all times. In some cases, experiences such as trauma, neglect, or highly critical environments may contribute to fears of judgment, rejection, or punishment, making dishonesty feel like a safer option.

Compulsive lying may also occur alongside certain mental health and neurodevelopmental conditions. For example, ADHD is not a cause of lying, but impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, and sensitivity to criticism or fear of disapproval that can come with ADHD sometimes make honest responses more difficult.

Researchers have also linked pathological lying to certain mental health conditions, particularly those involving difficulties with self-image, emotional regulation, or interpersonal relationships. Examples include antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) and borderline personality disorder (BPD).

However, compulsive lying does not necessarily indicate the presence of a mental health condition. Because compulsive lying can develop for different reasons, learning what is driving the behavior is often an important part of treatment.

Some researchers suggest that certain individuals may be more likely to lie when the perceived benefits outweigh the potential costs. Lying may seem like a way to gain attention or obtain something they want.

At the same time, the risks of being caught may seem manageable, or they may not foresee the potential negative consequences of lying. Some people may believe they will be forgiven or justify their dishonesty. Any feelings of guilt or shame that arise may not be enough to stop the behavior.

While there is limited research on self-help strategies specifically for compulsive lying, increasing awareness of dishonest behavior may be a useful first step. Many people benefit from counseling, which can create opportunities for greater self-awareness and behavior change.

These strategies are not a substitute for professional treatment, but some people find them helpful for better understanding their behavior and practicing new habits:

Occasional dishonesty is a common part of human behavior. However, professional support can be helpful when lying becomes difficult to control or begins affecting important areas of life.

Consider seeking help if:

Compulsive lying can be difficult to address alone, particularly when it has become a longstanding pattern or is contributing to relationship, work, or mental health challenges. A mental health professional can help individuals better understand the behavior and develop healthier ways of coping and communicating.

Created by Counseling@Northwestern, the online Master of Arts in Counseling program from The Family Institute at Northwestern University.